Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize