You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
