But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize