just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
