ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
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