I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Randomize
