Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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