I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
