I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
My dick has a subreddit
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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