you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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