Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
