You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
