No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
