omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize