i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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