from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize