i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
