so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
