i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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