Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
