Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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