I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize