No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
