i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
