Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
