i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
