Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
this will be a night to untag.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
