Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
