i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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