so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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