Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
