Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
soo... how was my night?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
