Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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