I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
