i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
