I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
