don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
