Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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