he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
