I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
