:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
