yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
