I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Also, beer. Big fan.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
