Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
