Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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