He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It's never too late to be topless.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
