we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
