why didn't you poke me back
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
