u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
