do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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