Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
