Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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