Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
