In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Randomize
