where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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