she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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